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Di-alogue

The Art of Networking

According to PJ O’Rourke (The Spectator Diary 4 December 2010) the question “What do you do?” is a rude Americanism. I am delighted to find that I am not alone in thinking this. As a networking event approaches, you will find me planning how to avoid answering what I think of as 'that' question. Mr O’Rourke believes our English dialogue rises above such remarks because it is sparkling and has a wry turn of phrase.

I wish that were true. However nice the person asking it, and however polite the tone, I always hear 'that' question as a put-down. “What do you do?” sounds as if they’re asking what you can possibly do that is half as exciting as their own role in reforming business or changing the world. And “What does KD Partnership do?” seems to imply ‘Well I’ve never heard of it so what can you possibly do that’s of any interest?’

But it gets worse. To say what I do, I am obliged to utter the distasteful words (to my audience) - management consultant. Then I watch eyes glaze over as people bung me in their mental pigeon-hole marked boring, know-all, or expensive and a waste of money. At which point my face takes on polite neutrality as they chip in and try to sell me something.

Finding ways round the ‘in your face’, direct sales approach is fun though. My favourite is to say what I most enjoy doing in life and then to ask a, kinder, question back. ‘What brought you here today?’ or ‘what do you hope to get out of this event?’ are, to my mind, gentler ways of remaining business-focused yet drawing people out.

I go to networking events hoping to have interesting conversations and expecting to start relationships. These usually need time to build, and so as well as planning some topics to talk about – recent items of business news for example, I also diary time to do the follow up leg-work; to email over the item offered or, more likely these days, complete the social network contacts via Linked In or Facebook.

My best networking happens when I am in a relaxed mood yet focused on the stories other people want to tell, and I try to follow the maxim: minds are like parachutes, they only function when open.

So, next time you meet me at an event, you know what not to ask me! Meanwhile, why not share your best strategies by going to my KD Partnership Facebook page and joining in the discussion?